Lonely Hearts Club

trisaye @ 2009-11-09T21:29:00

2009-11-09T13:30:39Z

WHY IS EVERYTHING HAPPENING ON THE 17 NOVEMBER. I NEED 48 HOURS FOR THAT DAY. UGH.
GAH. DEPRESSED. BYE

trisaye @ 2009-11-04T16:57:00

2009-11-04T09:01:35Z

They say the streets are relatively safe. Well not the sidewalks. Just walking to E hub alone almost got me knocked over by a bicycle. I hate how bicycles terrorist pedestrains on the walkway. I never realised how many people cycle. Or perhaps it was the time I decided to go buy sushi. Anyway, today is grass cutting day and to my horror when I returned, my neighbour was singing his heart out. Thank God, he stopped already. Why am I here again? I just realised I'll by flying away on Friday the 13th. Brr.

Rain come and stay till its time for me to go to school

2009-11-02T10:05:11Z

I want to put " lose weight ' at the top of the to-do list after 11 November but that'll mean not being able to enjoy food during a holiday which well sucks so I've decided to amend it so it says " Lose weight " 18 Novemember onwards. But prom in on the 17th and I'm going to look like a ba chang in whatever I decide to wear which at the moment I am clueless about.

Dad and Jon thinks that I'm too skinny. Am I the only who thinks otherwise? Yesterday I learnt the defination of skinny. " Can see the bones then skinny like you! *Points at Jon "

I need some osim shit to counter this stiff neck of mine. I'm aching all over. Sadly my once lithe exterior is diminishing by the day, like the diminishing method of depreciation. Hell, once this week its over I think I can breathe better.

I opened up my e-mail page to send a complaint letter to the nearby police post but then closed it. Sigh. I just hope the rain keeps these imbeciles away from the hut beneath my block. Honestly what so appealing about that particular hut. There are more than 300 in the area. Go.choose.another.freaking.hut if a hut seems more comforable than a house.

I need to devise a new method of putting across very nicely and politely, the fact that my name has been misspelt.

The truth is only relative

2009-10-30T15:01:19Z

Have you ever wondered behind all the smiles, hellos, goodbyes, rain, humid days, tears, laughter, who you really are?

Here I am, on a cold Friday night, listening to Tresspasser Williams, wondering who I really am.
I can be anyone I wanna be?

I think I'm a rather boring person. The consequential part of things always get to be before I can do anything. Sometimes, I think I'm paranoid over the wrong things and I think too much. I wish I was many things. Can I really accept the fact that I am a boring person? Why can't my brain be programmed to say " Fuck it " to things and them be.

Maybe I've a knack for being in control, losing control is moderately unacceptable. Although sometimes I really just wish to spin out of control. Sometimes I think I am an old women stuck in a young girl's body with the numerous consequential thoughts that cross my mind. Why can't I be someone who'll just say " Fuck it " and do whatever I want. But do I really want to?

Is it disappointing to know the one you thought should know you the best, knows you only in epidermal ways? How does one, measure their own self worth to another? Juxtaposed with another whom takes effort to know you, to one who makes the years in knowing you but only knows you skin deep.

Do cold Friday nights coupled with bus rides provide fertile ground for vulnerablity? Tomorrow is Halloween, the one day in the year you can be anything you want to be behind a mask or costume. I'm going to be the opposite of last year.

Okay, I realised its not exactly very thought provoking but its okay, I'll come up with something better soon, or at least I'll try.

I'm going to be vegetarian. But I love meat too much.

trisaye @ 2009-10-29T09:45:00

2009-10-29T01:46:57Z

Somehow this place seems to be the place I turn to when I have a heavy heart or need to rant.

trisaye @ 2009-10-21T19:20:00

2009-10-21T11:21:24Z

I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.
-pineappleupsidedown.tumblr.com

You only live once part 2

2009-10-21T11:15:12Z

Always, be the bigger person. Even if it makes you look like a complete idiot 24 hours later.
I wonder how some people sleep at night.

Which is worst?
a)being lonely
b)being lonely and depressed

The difference between one who seeks forgiveness and one who forgives is...
The difference between one who knows when to let go and one who holds on till the end of time is...
The difference between one who can say sorry and another is...
The difference between one who makes mistakes and the one who identifies them is...

I'm beginning to make an effort to make peace before I go to bed even though I spent the last 23 waking hours filled with hatred.

Karma.

" Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. "

It always seems to be true for the bad things, like how we remmber bad things > good things.

The cons that come with familiarity, is that it becomes an excuse, a reason not to change, a reason why one should abide by your habit, a reason why you're not entitled to be upset or annoyed. " I'm like that what. "

I'm guilty of doing so, but I have better excuses than that for myself or anyone else.

I want to be a prime number.

You only live once

2009-10-20T09:04:35Z

So you shouldn't let douchebags fuck your day up...

Easier said than done

trisaye @ 2009-10-14T21:03:00

2009-10-14T13:05:15Z

School ending in 2 days is pretty daunting. 5 years just whizzed by like that.

trisaye @ 2009-10-11T18:03:00

2009-10-11T10:11:43Z

I actually woke up at 8am to catch 3 episodes of Skins before I headed off to church because somehow in the morning it loads tad bit faster. Today's weather was horrible. It was extremely hot and humid. Its no wonder why people seek refuge in large air-conditioned complexes eg. Ikea. Had meatballs for lunch after waiting quite a while for a seat. What's a Sunday without waiting right? My bangs have overgrown to cover my eyes. It irks my mother. One day she's going to tell me to either snip it off or she'll do something about it. Also, I've this sudden growing interest in wearing heels. Okay I must cease online activity until 111109.

(insert title here)

2009-10-10T14:44:16Z

I've decided I'll update daily not because there is a lot to update about my life at the moment because it consists of mugging, mugging and more mugging. I made a huge mistake by starting on Skins season 1 episode 1 during my lunch break on the laptop. I cannot get hooked on to it now. Bummer. Anyway, my purpose here is that I've realised that I've not written anything in quite awhile, hence I fear I might lose touch when it comes to stringing coherent thoughts and expressions by myself since the last 6 hours and the past week was copying notes from my textbook out and so forth. The increased amount of writing has resulted in the return of Lucia, my corn.

Dictionary.com has been very helpful with my currently stale supply of vocabulary. As I was rummaging through old stuff, I came across my kindergarten report card. I was an almost straight A student. Only, at age 6, I had some trouble spelling. I was horrified when my eyes laid upon the flaw in my grades. Thankfully that B was only in mid term and I redeemed myself at the end of the year to achieve an overall A. Phew.

I need to think in a very structured, symmetrical manner. Postive and negative. Pros and cons.

Ahh distraction. I lost my train of thoughts. Back to Geography it is.

In a nutshell

2009-10-06T10:25:29Z

#1-Next Friday is the last day of school. OMG
#2- I got my prom ticket! Yay!
#3- Os in 16 days. What am I doing here right?
#4- Hilary Duff on GG. Stealing Dan Humphrey. Ew
#5- Eat fruits, they are good for you

Breath of fresh air

2009-10-05T09:30:46Z

I met Gen on Saturday and we checked out one tenth of ion together. Walked around in heels. Omg. It started raining when we were supposed to leave for Traders Hotel for Josh's 21st birthday. It was pretty awesome. The food was good. Seafood yumyum. He didn't get his favourite cake as the hotel gave him one. Headed down to Clarke Quay after that. Walked there in heels ah, not funny. The magaritas there are amazing. Go try, in a year's time. Missed hanging out with them quite a bit. What's a 21st without booze right? Yay! I hope you had fun Joshua Tan, if you ever read this. Haha

Sunday was Jalene's surprise farewell dinner at Hard Rock. She was surprised. Yay! Met up with Alcinda and Cammie after sooo long. Miss them ballet girls. Now must have a G808 reunion. The portion there is crazy big. But it was quite nice the nachos. The ambience is pretty nice to chill out. It was my first time there anyway. Couldn't stay till late because I had school. Pfft. Anyway, can't wait till O's are over. Gotta meet up with pretty people! :)

Pictures when I feel like uploading.

Okay, now back to the books. Can you believe the school ran out of paper? What a perfect time for this to happen.

trisaye @ 2009-10-02T15:08:00

2009-10-02T07:08:54Z

According to Kubler Ross, I'm one step away from " Remembering Sunday ".

Life is like a tray of sushi

2009-10-01T09:01:52Z

Life is not and has never been a bed of roses especially when the prospect of " Rembering Sunday " days present itself once more. Maybe this time it'll be called the " Vegas Skies " days. Its so silly, how hard I tried to avoid it, when it was merely a representation of a phase. In retrospect, I really wonder how I survived that phase, got better, reached the zenith before the downward spiral to the fiery pits once again. Its a cycle. Like history repeating itself. Don't you ever learn Betris?

I'm done with being vulnerable. Putting myself (or my heart) out there, dried up and wrung, as brittle as a dried leaf, breaking into pieces at first touch. " Remembering Sunday " days in juxtaposition to the fact that O levels begin in 21 days, calls for flashing lights and sirens and a whole lot of mugging involved.

Spending one hour being a wreck, makes you realise lots of things. Put things in a clearer vision, without hate glasses and revealing the least expected weapon of choice.

I got a feeling, tonight's gonna be a good good night

2009-09-26T14:24:53Z

Scratch my previous feelings towards graduation because it was fun! Especially the class video. Thanks Chels, Stacey and everyone else who made it. Fantabulous! :) Of course everyone looked so pretty in heels too. Awesome much. We're the only class which curtsied instead of bowing. Oh boy, am I gonna miss these girls a hell lot when we leave SAC. I'll upload pictures when I'm free.

Tonight's gonna be a good good night. Y'know why? Haha.

Vroom vroom!

2009-09-25T13:03:44Z

My weak attempt at renacting the sounds I heard at Marina Square just now. Orgasmic I tell you. Its so loud from within the mall. How much louder is it outside? Go figure. I was too lazy to seek higher ground to get a view of the track so the sound was all I heard. Tomorrow is graduation. I was pretty excited about it until...
now I can't wait for it to be over.

Similarites between xylem vessel and betris

2009-09-23T03:12:45Z

I tend to ramble past a certain time say 4.30 in the morning. I don't know if my ramblings make sense, or is a reflection of my subconcious which also means how I really feel. For I wake up feeling different as if all that happened just 5 hours ago was a dream. Fuzzy with lots of static. I really don't know. Could sleep be such a wonderful anti-depressant that I forget everything when I awake or is it merely a smokescreen to the truth. Beneath everything superficial, we still face the same issues, questions with the same answers and feelings that has either became stale so much so that knocking into it just produces a hollow sound or because its so deep? It makes another sound similar to that of hollowness. I feel/resemble very much of a xylem vessel. Hollow and strenghtened with lignin for support.

I'm puzzled. Or perhaps I just " think too much " Or maybe just I don't know. I should stop this mid day rambling and return to my graafian follicle which by the way makes much more sense than entertaining silly thoughts. Anyone wanna get waxed?

www.polefessional.com.sg

2009-09-22T13:41:37Z

My new hair.

Sunday:
Had seafood at Palm Beach Restaurant at One Fullerton. It was goood. But I still prefer the chilli crab at Long beach. It was crazy packed. The bridge to the Merlion was filled with colourful people. Go figure

.

Monday:
Super import nights, my second automobile event for 2009. It wasn't too bad. 10 bucks to see nice cars, experience pole dancing first hand and freeze. A real eye opener not to how amateurish the pole dancing industry in Singapore is but more like the actual level of difficulidty involved. The inverts are scary but nonetheless cool. Indeed an art to master. So fancy cars, I must say my knowledge on them is improving since I have my car expert next to me at all times. The drifting demo, nothing like the competition itself. I secretly sniggered at those amazed by just 30 minutes of drifting while I indulged in 2 days of drifiting in July.

The most valuable picture of the day

The weather is atrocious. I need to invest in skincare products eg. sunblock spf 30. Deportment programme made me realise that I am bowl legged and that is an extremely sad fact. :( Yes, everyone's flaws were exposed today but interesting to know. Sigh and all these adjustments to posture and etc will take > 5 weeks after you're 18. Which means I have less than 4 months to make everything right. :S

Oh a happier note. I've got mooncake, from Marriot Hotel. paper bag is cute. I dig.

skinny > anorexic

2009-09-20T02:13:35Z

Prom night tickets are 55 freaking bucks. I'm not complaining.
I'm going to starve till Saturday after today.
Seafood dinner! Only so I won't feel guilty.
Oh, I cut my hair. Haha.

Down that big bowl you go

2009-09-09T06:24:19Z

I had a very eventful Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning. Its one of those out of the blue spontaneous moments which makes the whole mundane routine more tolerable. All the love in the world. :)

The journey began from home to the lagoon at East Coast followed by some bowling. I was third. Next was to Ubi to pick some others and meet others. Then began the shooting of random ideas which led us to Mount Faber. Well actually West Coast Highway for a bit because we got lost getting up there. Nonetheless, we mad it to the top of Mount Faber. Beautiful I tell you. Some amazing photography skills or settings made us look like we were there at 3pm in the afternoon when it was actually around 2 in the morning. Had many pit stops along the way. Oh the ride there was most exhilarating. At 160km/h everything was blur but freaking awesome nonetheless. I feel so awesome just sitting in the car alone. Haha.

Some fast and furious shit for you? Its like flirting with danger and boy that adrenaline rush, superb! Then it was a race back to East Coast Skate Park. Another 170km/h ride of your life. I'd trade my sleep at 3 am for that, anytime. As long as there's no exam the next day. The skatepark is a hidden gem. I've never been there before despite having grazed the fields of East Coast quite recently. It was recently opened apparently which explains a lot. Guess what? We were first and that was immunity into the big bowl. Well immunity or not, they went down anyway.

The big bowl, for advanced skaters only or so they say is about 3m high. Its quite crazy man. It'll make a giant swimming pool. In the beginning it seemed almost impossible to go down the bowl and get out. But after watching Martin and Kevin do it, it wasn't that scary afterall and the presence of an emergency safety ladder quietened the uneasiness of that activity for the night. One by one they went down the bowl. It was quite cool. I could imagine a band playing in the middle of the bowl or a wrestling cage. I'd prefer the former. Anyway it seemed like much fun. I wanted to try but being clad in shorts would only cause unnecessary abrasion due to friction.

The journey ended at the bowl so we headed back home. Petrol is a bitch. Its so expensive, you might as well drink it. Haha, anyway I fell right asleep the moment my head touched the pillow. It was lots of random fun with new people. Its nice especially the joyride. Wheeeeeee.

Brutally awoken to my worst nightmare, the dentist. The extremely shiny sharp tools used in dentistry and the high pitched sounds they produce set my hairs on its ends. Well the good thing is I survived another dental checkup and yeah, the nurse was friendly unlike past unpleasant experiences in primary school during dental visits.

Okay I need to get back to the books. I've exceeded my lunchtime allowance on the laptop. Good day.

I'll carry your heart in my heart

2009-09-08T12:25:35Z

Its pretty queer how you're always on my mind.
Inbetween math equations and physics formulaes,
You pop out like a speech bubble in my head.
Day-dreaming somehow leads to you.
I wonder what you're thinking,
I wonder how you are daily.
You're always on my mind, its almost as if,
you're the favourite customer to my humble tea house
Every little thing about you to every minuscular detail,
at the tip of my fingertips
I'd never want to forget anything about you
The more I fear, the more surreal it'd become.
Oh how you are absoultely clueless
how intune my senses are to you.
I'm beyond falling, falling hopelessly
hopefully into your arms...

I...

Vegas Skies

2009-09-05T06:15:54Z

There's nothing much to update about my now stale life that has come to an almost abrupt standstill.

I am a Jabberwock

2009-09-01T13:25:04Z

My dominant, right hand hurts from writing. Its as if the muscles are on a riot. The left side however, is like tofu. I have no arm muscles. Sigh, tomorrow's a writing marathon, Social Studies followed by English. Unfortunately enough its half a Social Studies paper and English paper 1 so thats 3 less essays to write. I want to write with both hands.

I am happy. I think I can be happy, its just a matter of mindset. Its pretty obvious when someone can accidentally on purpose cheer you up or put you in the sulkiest of moods. But let's not dwell on the negative. I've a list of things to do after O levels.

I'm enjoying the chilly winds, in my new found asset, pyjama pants. :)

Your stomach is a bottomless pit

2009-08-24T08:26:49Z

What are the odds that at 6.32 in the morning the person who takes the empty seat beside you has the matching iTouch as you, wrapped in the exact shade of pink cover? I'm going to strike the lottery today - because today is the day.

The constant battle between which is more important. The heart or the brain?

Next Monday is GG season 3, I'm going to be a nerd and watch after O's. GG marathon.